i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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