Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
