Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Randomize
