Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
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The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
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tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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