A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
try to milk me bitch
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