we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
