i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
