Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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