Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
