just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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