so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
