i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
they need to just BURY HIM!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
