I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
