Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We're not piercing ourselves today.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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