I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
