I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
