Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and she was petting her beer can
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
