Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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