So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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