So drunk its hurt
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
ttyl tear gas
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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