We're facebook friends in real life
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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