My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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