Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My life is pants optional.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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