At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
nutella sex= disaster
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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