I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
