thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
