Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
