we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
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my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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