Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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