I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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