i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
