I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
