Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
