i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
