PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
