Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
