If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
