i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize