I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
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I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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