he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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