Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
