Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
