Your face is a jimmy john
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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