yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
