Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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