He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
