she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize