Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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