shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
