he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
