this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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