why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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