so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
