this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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