garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
