ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
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She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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