The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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