Swine flu. Run for my life!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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