I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
