i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
