I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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