u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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