when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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