I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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