not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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