I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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