In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Text me some of your sweat
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
