Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
