How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
