could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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