Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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