I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
If that was your dad, he is hot
Soap is not a condiment
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
