I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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