Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
