Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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