Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
That was an excessively violent trivia night
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sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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