her vagine was all disorganized.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
